Prepared In Every Way

“You are only dead if no one talks about you anymore.”   Pol Van Den Driessche

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This week a young father of 38 died of a cancerous brain tumor.  He left a wife and two year old son.  To make it even worse, his brother died of the same thing at Thanksgiving, leaving a wife and three children.   These boys were the only children of a mother who’s now grieving for both of her sons.  She was widowed several years ago and doesn’t even have her husband to help share in the grief.

I don’t know any of these people.  I barely know the mother-in-law and just recently met the wife.  But it sure has hit me hard and I’ve thought of little else since learning about it.

Maybe it’s because my own daughter, who is 38, was diagnosed with malignant melanoma in 2009.  After several surgeries and weeks of recovery, everything looks good for her.   No cancer at this point and they will continue to watch her for at least the first year.  After that, she’s pretty much on her own.  That is enough to scare anyone.

It’s heartbreaking to see our children suffering with disease, and really makes you stop and think about what’s really important.

From time to time I think about the things I wish I had done.   As a writer, I’d love to be published.  I’d love to see my name on the best seller list.  I’d love the stress of book signings and knowing there are people waiting in line just to get my autograph.  I’d like the paycheck that goes along with it.   In reality, though, am I willing to make the personal sacrifices for it to happen?

I doubt it.

Is it because I doubt my talent?  Maybe; but mostly it’s about not wanting to give up what I already have to look for something that may not even be out there for me.

After having a particularly stressful morning, my son texted me and asked if I’d like to join him and the 2 year old twins to go have lunch with their big sister.  It didn’t take long for me to realize that was just what I needed.  It wasn’t that my work wasn’t going to be there when I got back, but I thought getting away from it for awhile might help me figure out a solution.   I agreed to go and was happy to leave the mess behind!      Big Sister didn’t know we were coming, and when she saw us sitting at the visitor table, she yelled “GRANDMA…and DADDY.”  (Notice that I got top billing here.)  That just made the problems of the day disappear and I knew that I was making the best use of my time by just being there with my family.

In the afternoon, another granddaughter came by while her mom ran some errands.  It was such a beautiful day that we decided to go for a walk outside.  We live on a golf course, and one of the kids’ favorite things is to either walk, run, or drive the golf cart around the course.  They talk non-stop when we’re out there and some of my favorite teaching (and learning) moments  have been on these little adventures.   Today, we noticed that the lake looked like a mirror.  We stopped to watch how the golfers appeared to walk on the grass and upside down in the water at the same time.  I had my camera phone with me and asked her to go to the other side and stand there so I could get her picture in the mirrored lake.    She loved seeing the image on the camera, and we continued our walk so we could talk about things that are important in a 7 year old’s life.

In thinking about all the things I’d like to do,  I realize that I already have so much more than that.    How important is the recognition of the world compared to sharing your day with someone you love?    The public is fickle.  You might be their favorite author today, but as soon as someone else comes along and captures their attention, you’re history.  If you build a relationship with those you care about, whether it’s a child, a sibling, a spouse or a friend, you’ve got something that will last forever.  These are the people you can count on in good times and bad.  And that’s what’s really important.

Copyright 2010 Joyce Moseley Pierce
www.emersonpublications.com

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Just wanted to tell you about my twin granddaughters, Addison and Alexi.  They are 2 1/2 and full of life.  They love to ask, “Are you happy?”  If you say no, they put their hands up to their little faces and say in mock astonishment, “OH NO!” and then proceed to try to make you happy.  They have a happy dance which is nothing more than joining hands and going around in circles saying “happy, happy, happy.”   The idea is that this dance will charge up enough energy for everyone in the room to be happy.

Today my son brought them by for awhile, and Alexi asked, “Grandma, are you happy?”  I said, “Yes, I am!”   She went around the room asking everyone.  Finally, she asked her sister, Addison, who rarely agrees that she’s happy.  I think Addi  just likes to be different.    Today Addi repeatedly told us no, she was not happy, but after awhile, when we quit paying attention to her, she blurted out, with a big smile, “I’m HAPPY.”

At that, everyone clapped and told her how happy they were that SHE was happy.

Wouldn’t it be nice if grownups made such an effort to make everyone else happy?

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Call me crazy, but when I’m all caught up in recording my thoughts in my journal, I feel a sense of peace that whispers, “Go ahead.  You’ve recorded everything up to now.  Go out and find something else to write about.”

This week I realized I was about four days behind in journaling.  I looked through my date book for things to refresh my memory and started to write.  Some of it just outlined what I’d accomplished on those particular days.  Some of it included news of the day.  Some of it recorded my Evidences of God.  There were also recordings of things my kids or grandkids had to say.  It didn’t take long.  I type my journal because my handwriting can’t keep up with my thoughts.  When I finished, I  felt like I had completed something very important.  It wasn’t that the content was all that important, but there was a sense of importance in the fact that I had made a record of my days.

Isn’t THAT important?

How else will anyone know we existed if we don’t keep a record?

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Are you making the most of your camera phone?

I recently upgraded my Blackberry 8800 to an iPhone 3GS, and I can’t believe all of the opportunities it’s opened up to me!   I rarely carry my camera with me anymore unless I’m vacationing or plan on taking pictures that require a flash. The nice feature about the camera phone is that you don’t have to plan ahead by carrying a camera.  (Did I say you didn’t have to plan ahead?  Oh, my!)

Here are 10 ideas for making the most of your camera phone:

1.   Parking Garages.  When accompanying my daughter to the hospital for frequent treatments recently, I’d take a picture of the elevator markings so I’d remember where I parked my car each time.   When you’re going to the same place day after day, sometimes it’s easy to forget where you parked.    Sure was nice to just check the phone and see!

2.  Airport.    A few years ago I “lost” my car at the airport on more than one occasion.  I think they were playing tricks on the passengers, because my husband also lost his car a couple of times that year.  I learned from another traveler when I was practically in tears with frustration,  that if you go to the information desk in the baggage area and tell them your license plate number, they can tell you where you parked.  Apparently there’s someone who drives around and records the plate numbers.   Now, I take a picture of the elevator or entrance, and I also keep a picture of my license plate and car on my phone.

3.  Grocery Store.  I had told a friend about some restaurant-quality tablecloths I’d seen at one of the warehouse stores, but couldn’t remember if it was Costco or Sam’s.  Last time I was at Sam’s, I found the tablecloths and took a picture of the tag on the shelf.  This gave her a picture of the item number, the price, the size, and quantity.  All I had to do was use the email function on my phone to send it to her.  She was so appreciative of my thoughtfulness.

4.  Grocery Book.  This is also a great way to record prices for items you buy frequently.  I know there are a lot of grocery store books out there where you visit the stores and record the prices so you know where you’re getting the best deal.  I’ve never focused long enough to do that, but while at Sam’s, I took pictures of those products.  Now I have the information on diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, Rotel, and green beans.   While I like buying these products by the case, I don’t want to pay more money for the same thing I can find on sale at my local grocery store.

5.  Shopping.  I rarely shop, but when I’m out and I see something that I think my married daughter might like, I can take a picture of the item and email it to her on the spot.  That way, I don’t go through the process of purchasing something that I may have to return.

6.  Inventory.  Great way to inventory small, or even big items.    If you are selling on ebay or Craigslist, or just want to send a picture to a friend of something you’re selling, it’s an easy way to not only forward the picture, but to keep it on your phone to show anyone else who may be interested.

7.  Proof.  It’s a great way to capture something you’ve done, or someplace you’ve visited when you want to show yourself being there.    Did you sit next to a celebrity on the plane?  See Johnny Depp walking down the street in Paris?

8.  Contact Information.  My grandson tells me that when he meets a girl at a church dance, he takes her picture so he can remember who she is when he calls to ask her out.  (So many girls can crash your memory, apparently!)  For adults who aren’t dating,  I’m sure there are other practical applications for that.  Take a picture of their business card so you can store the information until you enter it in your contact list.  At least you have it with you.

9.  Social Networking.  It’s a great way to upload pictures to Facebook or Twitter to keep a current profile picture, or just to let your peeps know what you’re doing at that moment.

10.  Grandkids!  I love it that my kids have camera phones.   I get pictures more frequently of the grandkids and can easily save them to my own phone.  If I want to keep them on my computer, I can just email the picture to myself and save it that way.  I never print pictures anymore, but frequently do go through the “camera roll” on my phone and look at them.  What a great way to help the environment!  I save on paper, ink, and storage space.

Maybe you have other ideas for making the most of your camera phone.  I hope you’ll share them with us.  If you don’t have a camera phone, maybe you have a digital camera.  It’s one more thing to carry, but you can still view the information on the camera without printing.  That’s great for some of these suggestions where you need the information at your fingertips.

Copyright Joyce Moseley Pierce 2009.  http://www.emersonpublications.com

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Last week I heard a friend of mine speaking at a church meeting about things that are keeping him awake at night. He is an investment broker with lots of contacts on Wall Street, so he’s talking to real people. He’s not getting his information from the media.

Here’s what’s bothering him:

1. The economy.

2. Hurricane season.

I think most, if not all of us, are concerned about the economy. The price of gas is climbing and that means the price of everything else is going up. When the price of gas causes the price to increase in transporting a product from the manufacturer to your neighborhood store, then someone has to pay the price. The manufacturer isn’t going to take a loss, and Wal-Mart certainly isn’t going to eat the difference. The one who pays the price is you.

What all of this means is that you must be responsible. You may not want to be, but if you want what’s best for yourself and those you care about, you’re going to have to be.

He continued to give us this counsel:

1. Don’t let your cupboards get bare. Have a supply of food and water at home that will sustain you for three months. Ideally, this would be food that your family would actually eat, but at the very least, have food that can be eaten without much preparation. You may have a hundred pounds of wheat, but what good will it do you without electricity to grind or bake it? I’ve been buying extra tuna and beans for protein, applesauce and other canned/bottled fruit, and adding to my inventory of canned veggies. I recently went online to buy MRE’s. One of my favorites is a shortbread cookie with 2400 calories. They are vacuum sealed and great for your emergency kit. One 2400 calorie bar will give you enough calories for two days. The great thing about them is that they taste good and don’t require a glass of milk to choke them down. They are “non-thirst provoking,” which means that they help produce saliva. I like the Datrex brand and generally buy them from http://www.emergencyessentials.com . Last week, they were OUT, and I had to submit my name to be notified when they were available. This should tell us something. There are smart people out there who are actually preparing. http://www.datrex.com/products/prodlist_standard.asp?ca=21

2. Save for the rain. You should have money set aside for emergencies. I don’t suggest stashing your money in your mattress, but I do think it’s a good idea to have some cash at home. You should at least have enough to get you buy for a week, or at the very least, for a few days. You’ll be glad you can get your hands on it if you need to evacuate for one reason or another. Again, if you don’t live in the Gulf, you may think this is ridiculous, but how many other disasters might require you to leave your home? Wildfires? Chemical spills? Explosions? Floods? Tornadoes?

There are even more reasons to have an emergency fund in your bank. Anyone with a job is subject to loss of employment. GM recently announced they are closing five plants. That means 30,000 people are losing their jobs. My friend, Judy, says the plant in her town is closing. Unfortunately, there’s no other business in her area to absorb all those who will be jobless. Airlines are cutting flights and raising fares, and that will cause job loss all over the world. It’s no wonder home businesses are becoming necessary to the American family. We can’t depend on anyone else anymore, and we can’t live on just one paycheck.

3. Keep your gas tank full. This is a tough one when gas is approaching $4.00 a gallon. I’ve started filling mine up before it gets to the half way mark, mostly because it doesn’t hurt quite as much to put $40 in the tank each time as it does $80. When Texans wanted to flee before Rita hit, many of them had to abandon cars because they didn’t have enough gas to reach their destination. Once the danger was over, it was difficult to find gas because the electricity was out in many areas. Just up the road from me, the very morning after the hurricane, a man was shot because he tried to cut ahead of someone else in the line to buy gas. Gas is just not worth giving your life for, but with some preparation, you can have enough to save your life.

Some might try to scare you into thinking the end of the world is near. We can’t possibly predict that day, but I do think there is enough going on in the world to make us realize that there are some things that may never be the same again. We’re probably never going to be able to buy gas again for $2.00. At the grocery store, it’s a big deal if you can find bread on sale for under $2.00. A gallon of milk has been well over $3.50 in our area for more than a year. It’s costing us more to eat at home, and even more to eat out. If everyone were to stay home and eat, then that would affect the restaurant industry, and they don’t need cooks, waiters and hostesses if they have no customers!

This would be a good time to sit down with your family and create a plan. Determine your “wants” and “needs.” Instead of spending your money on “wants”, spend what you have available to put food in your cupboard and money in your emergency fund. I really hope that neither you nor I will ever have to survive on what we’ve put aside, but if you’re ever hit with an emergency – job loss or natural disaster – you’ll be ready for it.

The key is to do something about it now. If you wait until the media announces the disaster, it’s too late.

Copyright 2008 by Joyce Moseley Pierce. Joyce is a published author whose stories have been included in the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. She’s the owner of Emerson Publications and her specialty is helping others be prepared. Visit http://www.emersonpublications.com or http://www.prepareandsucceed.com if you’re looking for a way to supplement or replace your current income.

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Establish an Emergency Fund
by: Joyce Moseley Pierce

I recently read Paul Martinelli’s loving story about trying to get to his grandmother, Bella, before she died. He wanted so badly to hold her hand one more time and to tell her he loved her. He tried making travel arrangements to leave immediately, but couldn’t afford the $600 ticket. He had to wait three days to get a supersaver ticket, and when he finally got there, his dear Bella had already passed away. He was too late because he didn’t have the money to get to her in time.

He decided at that point that he would never allow himself to sink so low again. He would never be in the position that he couldn’t afford to be close to his family if he needed or wanted to be.

How helpless would you feel if you needed to be there for someone you love, and money was the only thing holding you back?

What if this was the only chance you were given?

What can you do to make sure you’re never caught in this predicament?

Establish an emergency fund! At the very least, have a credit card that isn’t maxed out so you can use it if you have to. In Dave Ramsey’s, “Total Money Makeover,” he teaches the reasons why you should not only get rid of your credit cards, but get rid of the balances. Once you do that, he teaches the importance of the emergency fund. If you have a baby emergency fund of about $1,000, then you won’t ever have to use the credit cards again.

Here’s why an emergency fund is so important. There are just some things you can’t plan for, and the older you get, the more surprises come your way. Believe me. These are just a few that I’ve experienced.

Last week we got a family email telling us that my husband’s cousin had gallbladder cancer. A few days later I got an update saying that the doctors were giving him three to six months to live, but agreed there was nothing they could do for him. They sent him home to die and the family started to gather from all over the country. Today’s update told me that David had passed away this morning. With today’s gas prices, it could be a real hardship for some to even drive to the funeral. It would take some serious calculating to see if it would be less expensive to fly or drive, and if you have to rent a car when you get there, that just adds to the cost.

Sometimes you have some advance warning, and sometimes you don’t. Last year when we were told my mother wouldn’t live another week or two, there were grandkids in other states who wanted to see her one last time.

My niece called the airline to make a reservation. The usual fare of a couple of hundred dollars more than doubled on such short notice. When she told them that she needed to make this trip because her grandmother was dying, they told her about the bereavement fare. They said if she brought back the documentation proving that her grandmother was actually dying, they would refund part of her fare. She bought the ticket, and after going through the hassle of getting what she needed for this “discount”, I think she only got about fifty dollars back. The bereavement fare is a joke. Don’t ever believe that these companies really feel sorry for you. The agent might, but she has to follow company policy, and with so many airlines filing bankruptcy, they’re out to get all they can.

When our friend, Mark, was killed recently on his motorcycle, all the members of his family were en route for a family reunion that weekend. Unfortunately, he was killed before they got there, but his widow found great comfort in being surrounded by their family. But as soon as they all gathered in Houston, they had to start making arrangements to either drive or fly to Kansas. Mark was born in Kansas, grew up there, and that’s where he wanted to be buried. While many of them had probably used credit cards to get to Houston, now they had additional charges to get to Kansas.

Interesting how the place you call “home” as a child is where most people want to be laid to rest when they go back “home.”

My mother had prepaid for her funeral arrangements in Tennessee ten years before her death. She was born in Tennessee, spent a great deal of her life there, and wanted to be buried on the piece of land her family had donated as a cemetery. While my sister had flown to Houston in Mom’s last days to be with her, she now had to go back home, gather her family, and then make the drive to Tennessee. At the same time, we were making our drive from Houston. My sister’s family and mine all met at an off-season lodge with a friendly, family atmosphere. We were all totally surprised when they did give us a discount at our departure. Of course this was in a town of only a few hundred people where everyone knew everyone. They truly were sorry for our loss.

People just don’t grow up and stay in their own hometown anymore, but for some reason we want or need to go back there when this life is over. There’s something comforting about going home, wherever that home is. It’s important to respect their wishes, but it can sure wreak havoc on your time, your bank account, and your emotions if you’re trying to get from Point A to Point B in a short amount of time.

You will still have to deal with emotions when you’re dealing with the loss of someone you love, but if you get that emergency fund started, at least you have the option of being where you need to be.

Copyright 2008 Joyce Moseley Pierce.

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