Archive for June, 2009

Silly Stuff for Word Lovers

Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period
of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and a jerk.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone
layer, unfortunately,shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting lucky.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and
it’s a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into  your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be
cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm inthe fruit you’re eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest,in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by asteamroller.
10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam
12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

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Top Ten Travel Tips

If you’re traveling this summer, you’ve got to be prepared if you want to enjoy the trip.  Here are some great tips for preparing to travel.

http://www.containerstore.com/experthelp/tips/topTenTravelTips.jhtml

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Plan to Succeed

“By failing to plan, you plan to fail.”      Unknown

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Planning is Everything

“Plans are nothing; planning is everything.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

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Waiting or Wasting?

I rarely leave home without a book or something to read. You never know when you’re going to have to wait in line, or in an appropriately named “waiting room.” Since I hate wasting time, it’s a great time to catch up on my reading. I read a whole chapter of a book while waiting in line at the motor vehicle division one day. Sure made the time pass more quickly with something to occupy my mind.

I recently upgraded to an iPhone and with all of the applications available, you can be entertained (or educated) anytime or anywhere.  I recently located a Kindle app so I can download books and read them right on my phone.   What a great way to save a trip to the book store or library and also save a tree!

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Stay Hydrated

The temp reached 100 degrees in San Antonio today. Be sure you drink plenty of water to stay hydrated during this hot season.

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Pack a skirt!

I always pack a skirt, just in case. Today I had talked myself out of it, and at the last minute, just couldn’t leave home without it. Glad I did – our friends had reservations at a steakhouse that required more than casual. Always helps to be prepared.

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Emergency Kit Contents

Johnson County (Kansas) Emergency Management & Homeland Security offers this list of items that should be in your emergency kit.    Taking these simple steps can make a big difference in ensuring your safety and well-being, and that of your loved ones.

Emergency Kit

P.S.  I’m pretty darn excited to see that my hometown has such a great site!

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Prepare for Your Financial Comeback

http://finance.yahoo.com/personal-finance/article/107015/Mentally-Prepare-for-Your-Financial-Comeback

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Father’s Day Idea

Lt. General Russel L. Honoré (Retired) who was the 33rd commanding general of the U.S. First Army and commander of Joint Task Force Katrina said:

“Each of us has a personal responsibility to be ready. We need to prepare our families and our homes. In many cases, family and personal preparations can be fairly simple. All it takes is a shift in our thinking. For example, when Granny’s birthday comes around, we have a tendency to get her one of those little silver picture frames with a photo of the kids. We need to stop giving Granny those picture frames and give her a weather radio. And on Father’s Day, instead of giving Grandpa those funky colored ties, give him a weather radio, too.

“In this new normal, we have only two options: We can exist in a culture of fear and dependency, or we can do the responsible thing: Live comfortably in a culture of preparedness and readiness; a culture where individuals can save themselves and empower their local, regional and national governments to better respond to any disaster. It’s time for America to adopt this culture of preparedness.”¹

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