Prepared In Every Way

This week a young father of 38 died of a cancerous brain tumor.  He left a wife and two year old son.  To make it even worse, his brother died of the same thing at Thanksgiving, leaving a wife and three children.   These boys were the only children of a mother who’s now grieving for both of her sons.  She was widowed several years ago and doesn’t even have her husband to help share in the grief.

I don’t know any of these people.  I barely know the mother-in-law and just recently met the wife.  But it sure has hit me hard and I’ve thought of little else since learning about it.

Maybe it’s because my own daughter, who is 38, was diagnosed with malignant melanoma in 2009.  After several surgeries and weeks of recovery, everything looks good for her.   No cancer at this point and they will continue to watch her for at least the first year.  After that, she’s pretty much on her own.  That is enough to scare anyone.

It’s heartbreaking to see our children suffering with disease, and really makes you stop and think about what’s really important.

From time to time I think about the things I wish I had done.   As a writer, I’d love to be published.  I’d love to see my name on the best seller list.  I’d love the stress of book signings and knowing there are people waiting in line just to get my autograph.  I’d like the paycheck that goes along with it.   In reality, though, am I willing to make the personal sacrifices for it to happen?

I doubt it.

Is it because I doubt my talent?  Maybe; but mostly it’s about not wanting to give up what I already have to look for something that may not even be out there for me.

After having a particularly stressful morning, my son texted me and asked if I’d like to join him and the 2 year old twins to go have lunch with their big sister.  It didn’t take long for me to realize that was just what I needed.  It wasn’t that my work wasn’t going to be there when I got back, but I thought getting away from it for awhile might help me figure out a solution.   I agreed to go and was happy to leave the mess behind!      Big Sister didn’t know we were coming, and when she saw us sitting at the visitor table, she yelled “GRANDMA…and DADDY.”  (Notice that I got top billing here.)  That just made the problems of the day disappear and I knew that I was making the best use of my time by just being there with my family.

In the afternoon, another granddaughter came by while her mom ran some errands.  It was such a beautiful day that we decided to go for a walk outside.  We live on a golf course, and one of the kids’ favorite things is to either walk, run, or drive the golf cart around the course.  They talk non-stop when we’re out there and some of my favorite teaching (and learning) moments  have been on these little adventures.   Today, we noticed that the lake looked like a mirror.  We stopped to watch how the golfers appeared to walk on the grass and upside down in the water at the same time.  I had my camera phone with me and asked her to go to the other side and stand there so I could get her picture in the mirrored lake.    She loved seeing the image on the camera, and we continued our walk so we could talk about things that are important in a 7 year old’s life.

In thinking about all the things I’d like to do,  I realize that I already have so much more than that.    How important is the recognition of the world compared to sharing your day with someone you love?    The public is fickle.  You might be their favorite author today, but as soon as someone else comes along and captures their attention, you’re history.  If you build a relationship with those you care about, whether it’s a child, a sibling, a spouse or a friend, you’ve got something that will last forever.  These are the people you can count on in good times and bad.  And that’s what’s really important.

Copyright 2010 Joyce Moseley Pierce
www.emersonpublications.com

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